‘Young men are suffering in silence’: NWU student builds movement to help

When Lethabo Sebola speaks about young men sleeping on the streets, battling depression, turning to drugs or ending up in prison, his voice becomes heavy with emotion.

He says society is quick to call young men dangerous, lazy or irresponsible, but few people stop to ask what pushed them there in the first place.

Now the 24-year-old North-West University (NWU) student is trying to change that story, one conversation, one school visit and one struggling young man at a time.

For many university students, graduation marks the end of years of hard work and sacrifice.

For Sebola, who graduated on Monday, the milestone is not only a personal achievement, it is proof that young men can overcome difficult backgrounds, emotional pain and hopelessness if they are given support and guidance.

The 24-year-old from Mogoto village in Zebediela, Limpopo, graduated with an undergraduate qualification while continuing his BCom Honours degree in industrial psychology at NWU’s Vanderbijlpark campus.

At the same time he is leading a growing youth initiative called Pick A Brother Up (PBU), an organisation focused on mentoring and supporting young men struggling with depression, hopelessness, substance abuse, emotional trauma and social pressure.

What makes Sebola’s story powerful is that the pain he speaks about openly is the pain he once carried himself.

“I come from a home where I was raised by a single mom,” he said.

Growing up without a father figure and strong emotional support affected him deeply, he said.

“I grew up with someone who used to be very angry, someone who used to snap at a lot of things because I felt like nobody would understand me,” he said.

Sebola said he often felt trapped by the pressure many boys grow up with, the expectation to always appear strong even when struggling inside.

“You feel like you are in a society where you are not allowed to voice out whatever frustrations you are feeling because the moment you start expressing yourself, you feel invalidated by a lot of people saying, ‘indoda ayikhali’ (a man does not cry),” he said.

For years, he watched young men around him struggle silently with poverty, violence, drugs, unemployment and emotional pain.

He said many felt they had nowhere to turn.

“There’s no space. There are social norms that have created an impression that as a young man, you don’t need to speak,” he said.

Sebola believes this silence is destroying many young men long before society notices they are struggling.

“When you become vulnerable, people can use that against you,” he said.

The idea for Pick A Brother Up started in 2021 while he was studying at a college in the East Rand.

Sebola said the organisation began during conversations with friends about the pressures young men face every day.

“I told them when we look at the society we live in, it’s very hard to be a man,” he said.

“It’s very hard to be a young man who wants to do things the right way, who wants to create a career for themselves, who wants to start a family.”

That conversation stayed with him.

Soon after, he decided to formally register the organisation even though he had no funding, sponsorship or resources.

“I’m a student, I have nothing, but I needed to register the organisation so we create a platform for our brothers who are out there, who have lost hope,” he said.

Today, Pick A Brother Up runs mentorship sessions, motivational talks and outreach programmes in schools, communities and university residences.

Since 2023, the organisation has been visiting residences at NWU to host discussions about mental health, leadership, relationships, education and personal growth.

Sebola said the aim is to create safe spaces where young men feel comfortable enough to speak honestly about what they are going through.

One of the organisation’s most important activities happens at the end of every session.

Participants stand up one by one and speak about what they are grateful for.

Sebola said the simple exercise often opens the door for young men to finally talk about the pain they have been hiding.

“We end up creating a platform where they are able to express what they are going through,” he said.

“So far that has been working for us.”

The organisation also visits schools to speak to pupils about education, discipline and making better choices for the future.

Sebola said many boys simply need guidance, support and someone willing to listen.

“There are so many talented young men out there, but they are not given the platform or space to become themselves,” he said.

He believes society focuses too much on negative stories involving men and ignores young men who are trying to do good.

“We want headlines such as a young man from KwaZulu-Natal or Eastern Cape created something amazing. Young men started something that is assisting other young men to become better people,” he said.

Some of the stories Sebola has encountered through the initiative affect him emotionally.

He remembers helping a first-year student in 2024 who was battling severe depression and suicidal thoughts.

“He said for him to sleep, he needed to take sleeping pills every day because when he’s sober-minded, he can’t sleep,” said Sebola.

The student felt worthless and believed his life had no purpose.

Sebola spent time mentoring and encouraging him to see life differently.

I want society to understand young men are also human beings. Young men need opportunities.

—  Lethabo Sebola, founder of

“I’m proud to say the young man today is one of the student leaders on our campus,” said Sebola.

Stories like this remind him why the organisation matters. But the work has not come without sacrifices.

PBU is largely funded by students themselves, many using bursary money and personal funds to keep the organisation running.

“We’re students and we haven’t found sponsors yet,” said Sebola.

The organisation also faces criticism from people who believe young men cannot change.

“There is sometimes negative talk,” he said.

“People saying there’s nothing that’s going to change, men are always going to be this way.”

But Sebola said those comments motivate him even more.

“If 10 people say no, but two people say yes, I think there’s always that light,” he said.

Balancing leadership, community work and academics has also been difficult.

“There are always assignments, tests and exams, but we are willing to work harder,” he said.

Sebola said his studies in industrial psychology have helped him better understand mental health, behaviour and the emotional struggles many young people face.

“It has given me a holistic view in terms of the psychological wellbeing of our young men,” he said.

He believes real change starts with compassion, listening and creating spaces where boys feel safe enough to ask for help.

“I want society to understand young men are also human beings,” he said.

“Young men need opportunities.”

He said many boys are growing up without mentorship, direction or emotional support, leaving them vulnerable to drugs, crime and hopelessness.

“When you go to the streets, most people on the street are men. Most people in jail are men. Most people who are hooked on drugs are men,” he said.

“It takes a village to raise a young man.”

Sebola dreams of expanding Pick A Brother Up across South Africa and eventually into other countries.

He hopes to take the initiative into more schools, universities and rural communities where many young people feel forgotten.

“I want to start in South Africa first,” he said.

“Then go out to the communities, especially marginalised rural areas like Limpopo, Eastern Cape and KwaZulu-Natal.”

For now, the organisation needs funding, volunteers and mentors willing to support young men.

Sebola said successful men also have a responsibility to return to communities and guide the next generation.

“Young men need people who understand their struggles,” he said.

His message to young men battling depression, hopelessness or pressure from society is simple but deeply personal.

“It is possible,” he said.

“We all have a journey. Our timelines will not be the same.”

He also wants young men to know asking for help does not make them weak.

“You are not weak from speaking,” he said.

“The good of speaking is that you become a better person.”

Sebola believes changing one person’s life can create a ripple effect that reaches many others.

“Even though I don’t change the world, the fact that I sparked change in someone’s mind or world, I’ve done my part,” he said.

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