Club Med Tignes, France, is a blast - even if you don't ski

It’s easy when you’ve grown up in Africa to be casual about the bush. Get a few game drives under your belt and you’ll be cool about lions and chill amid elephants even when they're breaking branches. I’m always amused to be on a vehicle with a fresh-off-the-plane European, asking anxious questions like: “But can it flip the car?”  

Put me on a snow-capped mountain in sub-zero temperatures and that script is flipped. As it was in December when I went to the launch of a new Club Med — in one of the world’s prime ski resorts, called Tignes, in the French Alps.

A ski resort, incidentally, doesn’t necessarily work the same way that beach resorts do — which are usually private hotels whose amenities are for the sole use of paying guests. The former can simply refer to a mountainous area that has been developed with chair lifts and marked ski paths (pistes) and anyone there, wherever they’re staying, can buy a pass and use the slopes at will. This is the case with Tignes. 

In the Savoie region in southeastern France, just 6km from Italy, its name comes from a village dating back to the 13th century, which in 1952 was flooded as part of a hydroelectric power scheme. Whatever is left of that old place now slumbers at the bottom of the lovely Lac du Chevril. 

The uprooted villagers, meanwhile, 70 years ago, used their government compensation to build new homes higher up and to develop their skiing facilities. Now one of the oldest ski resorts in France, “Tignes” is made up of five villages — Brevieres, Boisses, Lavachet, Le Lac and Val Claret.  All sit above the tree line at altitudes from 1,550-2,300m and are linked by an impressive network of lifts that carry sporty sorts up to 150km of slopes on the surrounding mountains. 

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

From the bottom of Africa, even getting there feels intrepid: a night flight to Paris, an early jet to Geneva, then a bus ride over the border back into France and then the slow climb to Val Claret, the highest of the Tignes villages at 2,100m. 

That’s a gain in altitude of 1,725m in just over three hours — a drive on which grey highways and tunnels gradually give way to country towns. The road notably steepens, the mercury dives and sporadic patches of snow on the verges turn to piles. I drift to sleep and when I wake we are rounding hairpin bends over forests of fir trees in the very maws of the snow-thick mountains. 

When Val Claret at last appears, it's a little brown boat of buildings in a storm of white swells. In Geneva the temperature was 3 degrees. Now it’s — 8C and just getting from the bus to the building is enough to strip the feeling from the tip of my nose. The welcome inside feels especially warm, with music playing and barmen doling out hot chocolates and champagne.

The open-plan space is all vibrant hues and sophisticated wood and stone but what lurks outside the massive windows is clearly the showstopper here: a magnificent monster of a mountain, silent, stark and white, peering in as it’s disappearing into a soupy white sky. 

SNOW TIME 

The next morning, happily, that sky has switched to blue. Even before breakfast the slopes are alive with little streaks riding up in the swing chairs and zigzagging down. Being on the edge of town, the Club Med is “ski-in ski-out accommodation” and it’s highly prized by those in the know. 

If you mean to try out this skiing business you can rent the gear (extra cost), and in the ski room before my “total idiot” lesson I find my locker stuffed with oddities: skis, poles, boots, helmet. 

There’s a friendly staffer to help me wrestle the myriad straps and snaps that clamp my feet inside the boots. Then, with my knees forced into weird angles, I totter awkwardly out the doors, down the ramp and into the snow. Oh hello catwalk of Europeans who all were clearly born on skis; it's me, an elephant on ice skates. 

Cut to half an hour later and I’m back in the locker room strongly identifying with Gwyneth Paltrow. Apparently she’s not a champion skier either.   

For the record, Club Med is affiliated with the respected École de Ski Francais, whose instructors for all levels come with the all-inclusive deal. There are other first-timers in my group who persevere and have a brilliant time. And others too who ditch the boots and go make snow angels instead. This, I now know, is the beauty part — you don’t have to be an actual skier to relish a mountain resort. 

WORLD OF WELLNESS 

Club Med opened its first ski resort in Switzerland in 1956 and now has 22 around the world. Naturally, the company is well versed in giving them wider appeal and there is much else to do at Tignes, all under an umbrella of wellness. 

For high-octane stuff there’s the gym and a spinning studio with an intriguing class called The Trip, where a giant screen takes riders on a psychedelic virtual journey to outer space and an alien world.

There is also an adventure desk where you can book excursions: things like tobogganing, snowshoeing, snowmobiling, ice diving, glacier hiking and even dining in a traditional Mongolian yurt. 

If a pampering is more your scene, there is a spa for facials and massages, and the tranquil indoor pool area is a perfect place to float away your tensions, alternating with some cleansing sessions in the sauna.

An easy outing, which you can do on your own, is to ride to the top of the Grande Motte glacier, which peaks at 3,656m. The journey is by funicular inside a tunnel in the mountain, with the station a five-minute walk from Club Med. The ski pass covers the ride since there are runs from the top, and most of the people cramming into the cars are on a one-way trip. Too-cool-for-school skiers, I hear, call the ride back down “the funicular of shame”. Gwyneth and I prefer “the funicular of common sense”. 

It stops up top at 3,032m, where the panoramas are already phenomenal. For even higher highs, there is a cable car that climbs to 3,456m, from where you can look down on the clouds and myriad peaks and spot the absolute highest point in the Alps, Mont Blanc (4,807m) just across the way. Back at 3,032m there is a small cafe — and a hot cup of Glühwein proves a perfect palliative to the biting cold. 

There is also a Michelin-starred restaurant here called Le Panoramic, which lets us peek inside. Styled as a mountain hunting lodge, it has taxidermied deer and goats on the walls and even more terrifying prices on the menu. Fancy a truffles and whipped cream dish? It's only €380 (R7,644,52).

Back at Club Med the feasting is far less likely to give you a heart attack — as long as you can control yourself at the cheese station (remember, this is France so it's not going to be easy).

The all-inclusive gives guests access to both the @Val Claret buffet — where various stations offer huge selections of cuisines from around the world — plus the more intimate, booking-only à la carte restaurant called @ Le Solstice Gourmet Lounge.

TONIGHT'S GONNA BE ...

PLAN YOUR TRIP 

CLUB MED TIGNES is one of the group's Exclusive Collection resorts, which prioritise comfort, privacy, space and personalisation. Its 430 rooms are divided into three categories: Deluxe, Superior and The Exclusive Collection Space known as ‘Le Sommet’. The latter has the roomiest suites with the best views, plus exclusive areas and concierge service. 

CHILDREN: Under-4s stay for free and the Kids’ Club caters to ages from four months to 17 years. Skiing lessons are open to anyone over 4.  

RATES: From R28,675pp for seven nights. Includes accommodation, food, drinks, sports, activities and entertainment, ski pass, ski/snowboarding lessons for all levels. Excludes flights/transfers, ski hire. Prices correct at time of publishing, are subject to change and subject to availability. Pay 20% deposit to secure the booking (and lock in the exchange rate), with final payment only due 45 days before departure. See www.clubmed.co.za 

WHEN TO GO: Tignes is considered one of the most snow-sure resorts in France with winter sports available usually from December until the end of May. In summer, when the ghost of Julie Andrews must be spinning in the hills, the temperatures are just right for hiking, biking, canyoning, rafting, watersports on the lake and much more. The lifts continue to operate, giving hikers access to many trails and vistas on the mountains, and even skiing remains possible thanks to the glacier. 

VISAS: South African passport holders need a Schengen visa for France, with applications handled by Capago International. See https://fr-za.capago.eu/ 

HOT TIP: The list of clothing and equipment you’ll need can be fairly daunting but check out The Ski Deck in Ferndale, which both sells and rents crucial things like ski pants, jackets, goggles and gloves. They also offer ski lessons on a sort of sloped treadmill that moves under you while you get the hang of the technique — a great idea for a head start, giving you more time to enjoy the skiing part when you get to your holiday. 

• Sleith was a guest of Club Med.