Mukwa River Lodge: a dream retreat on the 'edgy side' of the Zambezi

There is much talk of danger around the dinner table at Mukwa River Lodge. In one way, it’s understandable. We are, after all, on a wooden deck in the open air, totally blind to whatever’s out there in the wild night.

Branches above us cast creepy shadows in the lamplight and, though we can’t see it, we know that just beyond the deck lurks the predator-infested line that supposedly separates “civilisation” from “Real Africa” — the Zambezi River — and that we are on the “wrong” side of it. 

At least, that’s what lodge manager Linda Preston had told me earlier that afternoon — that old saying (origin unknown) that “Real Africa” begins in Zambia. Ironically, as she said it, she was showing me around my home for the next few nights, one of just four suites facing onto that treacherous river but dripping with symbols of refinement.

Strange to think, as my eye sweeps across the king-size bed with its swathes of mosquito netting and luxuriant linens; the his-and-hers robes waiting in the wardrobe; the patio loungers and private plunge pool; the indoor soaking tub and twin outdoor showers that five years ago this piece of land was as forbidding as nature intended: a tangled jungle thick with thorns, rocks and mud and surely the odd sharp-toothed killer scurrying through the undergrowth. 

But by the time it opened last July, its South African family owners — hospitality veterans with two other revered properties already in their portfolio, The Residence in Houghton, Joburg, and Camp Ndlovu in Welgevonden, Limpopo — had conquered not just the jungle but also mountains of red tape and the complications of building during a pandemic to launch this very fine lodge. 

Now it’s a dream retreat on a river’s edge, just six free-standing suites spread out from the main lodge, with its library and bar, small gym and spa. The subtle structures in steel and wood are made to let the natural setting shine and open up wide to let the outside in. In rooms strewn with wood, cane and plants, botanical prints and jewel-toned subway tiles pop while details in the décor invite lingering: tiny cow sculptures and beautiful brass planters on the tables and black-and-white wildlife photography on the walls. 

For dining times, there are tables indoors as well as an alfresco deck on stilts, right on the river’s edge. From here, a short staircase leads down to the jetty, where a boat waits every morning and evening to putter out with guests on board for a safari — on the opposite bank is Zimbabwe National Park so animal sightings are virtually guaranteed. 

ONE GRUMPY HIPPO

It’s on our first sunset cruise that the danger conversation starts while we watch an angry hippo chase a boat. It’s a terrifying scene, the whine of the engine at full throttle as the captain puts foot to flee the furious beast, which is doing its best butterfly, leaping in and out of the water in the wake.

Luckily, it’s only a video on executive chef Aaron Menezes’ phone, which he’s pulled out to demonstrate how dangerous the river can be. 

All around us, the real river is calm as glass. Melodious tweets here and there punctuate the quiet and the hippos we do come across have only lazy ears peeping out of the water. Pelicans stalk the shallows beside the banks.

We putter along, sipping champagne, snacking on Menezes’ genius canapés — a cold spiced carrot soup, for example, served in test tubes — and soaking in the serenity. We pause a while to gawp at a gigantic crocodile, perfectly immobile but lying with its mouth open. Guide Godfrey Matale says this is a trick to regulate its body temperature but the clear sight of that red cave with its stalactites of teeth seems a warning to keep our fingers firmly in the boat. Of course, we do, dawdling on the water and only come back when the burnished ball of the sun is bleeding out behind the coal-black silhouettes of the trees. 

And so to dinner. With fine wines on the table and cloth napkins in our laps we indulge in danger tales, everyone sharing their scariest bush story. Preston, a Brit who spent more than 10 years driving backpackers on a truck through Africa, has everyone in stitches with her deadpan anecdotes.

Somewhere in the dark, and not too far away, there is a deep-throated grunting followed closely by nervous giggles. The latter is just us. Someone asks nervously: “Can hippos climb stairs?”

HEAVEN ON A PLATE

They can’t, no-one thinks. But if they could, and this is to be our last meal, there are worse ways to go. This might just be the last supper I would choose anyway thanks to Menezes’ flair for experimentation and creativity.

Amazingly a “self-taught cook”, he tends chickens — “my babies” — and a veggie garden on the property and lights up on the subject of unusual local ingredients. Throughout our stay, he and his impeccably trained team of local chefs serve up a stunning parade of dishes that are as lovely to look at as they are thrilling to taste. Each menu feels like fine-dining with a splash of accessibility — dishes such as “Zambezi bream cured in beetroot with soya sauce ice cream” and “Truffle mac and cheese”. Bread is baked and served in hollowed-out baobab seed pods. And that’s just the starters.

At the dizzying heights of the Falls, we skirt danger again. I’ve often heard it said that this wonder of the world is more spectacular seen from the Zimbabwe side. I’ve seen both and think it’s an absurd comparison — different angles sure, but every which way it’s still, in full flood, the largest curtain of falling water in the world, 1700m wide and 108m high. Still thunderbolts and lightning and very very frightening. 

Zambia also has a literal edge on Zim in that it’s the side with the Devil’s Pool, a 3m deep natural hollow right on the edge of the abyss that is perfectly safe to swim in and even lie flat on your belly and peer over the edge. There’s no time for it on this trip but I have done it and it’s hands down one of my all-time best travel experiences. If you’re there when the water levels are right — usually August to December, rain dependent naturally, just do it. 

ACCOMMODATION: Five free-standing two-sleeper suites and one two-bedroom family suite (sleeps four). Four overlook the river; two the property’s internal waterways. All have aircon and fans, coffee machines, private plunge pools, and indoor and outdoor showers. 

WHAT ELSE IT HAS: Large, heated communal swimming pool, wifi, a library, bar / lounge, gym, spa, wine cellar, curio shop.

RATES: From US$660 per person per night (about R12,400) in an island suite in low season to $1,080 in a river suite in high season. Includes all meals, high tea, soft drinks, local beers, selected house spirits and wines, in-room minibar, laundry, return road transfers to / from Livingstone International Airport. Children up to the age of 6 stay free, ages 7 — 17 pay 50% of the sharing rate. 

ACTIVITIES: Mukwa has a wide range of activities also included in the rate. These include river cruises, a guided tour of Victoria Falls, a Livingstone town tour, picnic lunches around the property, organic garden tours (and a chance to meet the chickens), tiger fishing (seasonal), birding walks, cultural tours, cooking classes and more.

OPTIONAL EXTRAS: Just some of the things you can throw in include spa treatments, helicopter flights over the falls, seeing the falls from the Zim side, whitewater rafting and bungee jumping. 

CONTACT: Visit their website.  

• Sleith was a guest of Mukwa River Lodge