If Loni James’s passport recorded the number of first dates she had while visiting 20 countries, it would be stamped 36 times.
April 2022 — when Loni James left her US hometown to travel the world
Five — the number of South African first dates she went on
The American solo traveller’s plan is simple — go on a date with a local in every country she visits to meet new people and experience the culture.
She started her travels in London in April last year and has met dozens of men from Slovenia to Egypt, documenting her dates and experiences in a blog.
James, who left South Africa two weeks ago, went on five dates during her three-month stay here. And while she fell in love with the country, she wouldn’t be drawn to comment on the men.
James, 40, from Washington state, met her South African consorts on dating apps Tinder and Bumble.
Each date has been quite different and I never know what will happen next — and I love that.
— Loni James
“My first date took me on a beautiful drive through Constantia and we took a walk through one of the estates there. While enjoying dinner with another date, I had a free performance as he turned out to be a magician and started doing card tricks at the table! Definitely not something I’d experienced on a date before.
“I went on a date with another traveller on the Garden Route. We kayaked to a waterfall, hiked to a cave and ate South Africa’s best cheesecake under a 900-year-old tree. Each date has been quite different and I never know what will happen next — and I love that,” James told TimesLIVE Premium.
For safety reasons James doesn’t give out her number until she has met the person. She always meets the date at a public place, doesn’t drink much alcohol and shares her locations with friends.
She guarantees all her dates’ anonymity.
“I worked in medical sales before I started this big trip last year. I saved for almost two years then sold all my belongings — car, furniture, clothes, books and more to pay for it.”
Dating in every country started out as a fun way to meet locals while travelling.
James had planned to be in South Africa for two months but stayed for three because she loved it so much.
“Cape Town is so lovely and I did so many fun things — from going to my first silent disco in a hidden location to renting tandem bikes and riding along the coast to Sea Point.
“I went to a concert at Kirstenbosch and was very excited to go to one of their outdoor cinema nights. I kayaked in the bay and hiked both Table Mountain and Lion’s Head.
“I’m obsessed with the markets around the city and went to the Oranjezicht Market every week to try new international foods and eat the best brownies — and that’s just Cape Town!”
In April James drove to Knysna then the Drakensberg.
“Addo Elephant Park was the first time I had ever seen a big herd of elephants and it was incredible! I simply must come back as there are so many more places to see and I didn’t hike nearly enough mountains. South Africa holds a very special place in my heart,” she said.
James is now road-tripping to Kenya where she will continue dating.
But is she open to finding “the one”?
“I’m absolutely open to finding a partner, but as my life is full-time travel at the moment, it can be hard to find someone wanting to do that as well. I’m incredibly happy with this life I’ve created.”
Local relationship expert Paula Quinsee said after the pandemic, people are prioritising travelling, having adventures and exploring the world as borders have reopened and restrictions have fallen away.
Quinsee added that James’s plan could also help to alleviate “the feeling of being alone in a foreign country where you know no-one and experience bouts of loneliness”.
Support independent journalism by subscribing to the Sunday Times. Just R20 for the first month.
Would you like to comment on this article?
Sign up (it's quick and free) or sign in now.
Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.